is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
