real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
