no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
