Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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