WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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