Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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