Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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