So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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