If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Randomize
