just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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