Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
