god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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