we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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