I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
