hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
This is the high leading the old right now
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
