i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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