he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Randomize
