i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
