i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Hippo gnu deer
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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