What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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