i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
