I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
