Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
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