I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
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