I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
