Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
