wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
