Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
