best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
