are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
