Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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