What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
