so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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