dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
you will always have a special place in my vag
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
