My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
