i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
