why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
