i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
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