ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
