Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize