My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Randomize
