if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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