Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
