Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
