she woke up with a sticky ear
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
