Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize