I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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