I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Randomize
