This phone does not accept mass texts. Try again.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize