There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
