singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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