chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
