do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
