My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Randomize
