honey bunches of taint.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
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