my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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