What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Randomize
