i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
