I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
