New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Randomize
