i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
