Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
