its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
