bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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