are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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